Page 5 - Even More Sacred Humor

Logic from  an uncluttered Mind

A  little   girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was  physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though  it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little  girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. 

Irritated,  the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was  physically impossible.

The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I  will ask Jonah'.

The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'

The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.

A  Kindergarten  teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing.   She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.    As she  got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the  drawing was.

The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'

The teacher  paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'

Without  missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They  will in a minute.'

A Sunday  school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her 
five and six  year olds.   After explaining the commandment to 'honour' thy Father  and thy Mother, 
she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how  to treat our brothers and sisters?'

From the back, one little boy  (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not  kill.'

One  day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette  head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why  are some of your hairs white, Mum?'

Her mother replied, 'Well, every  time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my  hairs turns white.'

The little girl thought about this revelation  for a while and then said, 'Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are  white?'

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.  'Just think  how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and  say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's  a  doctor.' 

A small voice at the back of the room rang out,  'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'

A  teacher was  giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.  Trying to make  the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the  face.' 

'Yes,' the class said.   'Then why is  it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood  doesn't run into my feet?'    A little fellow  shouted, 'Cause your  feet ain't empty.'

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school  for lunch.   At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.   The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:  'Take only ONE.  God  is watching.'

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end  of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. 

A child had  written a note, 'Take all you want.    God is watching the apples....'

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